Bittersweet

Today I left village aka I no longer call Mamadou Badeifa home. I’ve known that this day was coming for a while now, and while I was prepared for it, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Two weeks ago, my nouveau (aka replacement) came down for volunteer visit and we spent three days together in our village. Strange. I feel like my village is in good hands with her and vice versa, but it’s weird to think that I’m not going to be their volunteer anymore. I have this irrational mindset that once I’m gone, my village will forget all about me. I know that they won’t (I left them a bunch of pictures, so they can’t), but I can’t help but feel that I’m getting replaced (I mean, I am, but still).

This last stint in village has been hard. For the past month, everyone started talking about how I was leaving them and how much they were going to miss me. I was like, I’m not gone yet, so let’s not talk about it and enjoy our time together. Unfortunately for me, they didn’t understand that concept. Other than that, I just embraced the quiet (and all the mangoes they gave me) and spent my last month, much like my first- hanging out with my family and with my villagers. I think Amadou knew I was leaving. Even though he had a cold, he would come into my room to sit with me or just sit in my lap. My dog was also being more affectionate than usual. SO HARD to say goodbye.

Two nights ago, I threw a party in village. It was more for my village than myself, but I think I benefited the most from it; it brought me some closure. Two of my neighbors, Katie and Missy came to celebrate with me. The men played a soccer game for me and we danced until midnight (literally two hours past my village bed time). It was so much fun; my women sang and made songs about me, it was flattering and overwhelming at the same time. At the end of the night, my mom gave me a present. I don’t know exactly what it is, but its cool (see pics below)!

Yesterday, I spent time with my family and just soaked it all in. My LAST day in village. It was like any other day until my brother had to remind me at lunch that it was our last lunch together and then proceeded to tell me that he didn’t have an appetite because he was unhappy with the fact that I was leaving. I had to bite my lip so I didn’t start crying at the bowl (I ran away to my room to do that). I said my goodbyes, ate a lot of mangoes (like 11- seriously), gave away a lot of my belongings, and shed a lot of tears.

This morning, I left village with my brother at 6:30am. I wanted to leave without seeing anyone because I wasn’t ready for an emotional goodbye (even though it’s not goodbye because I’ll be in Senegal, 100k away, for another year). My brother biked with me to Kolda and that was it, done with village. I know I’ll be back, but it’s different not calling it home anymore. I cherish the memories of village- the good, bad, frustrating, and stressful. I adore the people I call my family and will never forget all that they’ve done for me. I don’t know how I got so lucky with a wonderful family and village, but I’m thankful for the experience and all the good times.

I’m excited for the next step, the next adventure, but am sad to leave my village. I know I’ll be fine and happy soon, but it’s been a hard couple days. I guess I have to just keep smiling.

PEACE & FAMILY